A Much-Needed Break

You can only sort through stuff for so long.  We've been sifting through closets, cabinets and shelves, deciding what needs to get moved and when and where.....and it was time for a break!  So we spent a fun & relaxing day downtown Chicago with Aaron's parents.  We scored $14 parking (yeah!) and strolled through Millennium Park, followed by shopping, sightseeing, and a great lunch at one of our favorites - Mity Nice Grill in Water Tower Place.  The weather started out cool and foggy but by afternoon it was perfect!

Lurie Garden in Millennium Park

Cloud Gate - aka The Bean

Splashing!

Something for everyone to play with at the Apple Store!

American Girl Place

 Olivia poses with "Saige" the Girl of the Year

- this is the doll she chose for her birthday

 Natalie inherited Molly from Liv....but Molly's frizzy 'do needed   some work at the salon

 Aaron with his mom, Mary and his Molly doll (hahaha)

 I love this city!!

All Aboard the Emotional Rollercoaster! (or, if you prefer, The Crazy Train)

EVENTUALLY this week is going to end, and June will finally arrive, bringing Aaron home, and the longest and toughest 9 months of my life will be over.  But it will be the start of a busy and emotional month.

Yes, he'll be home.  It will be joyful and happy, a huge relief.  I keep telling him I'm going to sleep for three days straight, because honestly, I don't know what I'm running on over here.  Having him back, for good, will be a huge adjustment, too.  He's been living a bachelor-like existence, while I've been in overwhelmed single-parent mode, finding ways to cope.  Reprising his role as a family man won't be easy for him, and even though I will savor the extra help, I will have to relearn how to live with another adult!

A few days later, our oldest child graduates from 8th grade. (seriously?) I'm so proud of the young man he's becoming, and he has been great as the "man of the house" - taking out the trash, checking the doors at night, changing light bulbs, killing spiders, etc.  He also did a LOT of babysitting for me. And he managed to negotiate 8th grade at his old school after being away for a few years; even ended up with decent grades. Not an easy adjustment, academically or socially. I look at him sometimes and think - Aaron was only two years older than this when we starting dating.  That can't be right, can it??

Then there's the matter of wrenching our kids away (again) from the friends they have made here.  What do you say to them?  Uh...sorry?  You'll make new friends?  I'm sure they will keep in touch, maybe.....yeah.   It sucks.

Next up, for fun, we're joining in on my family's garage sale!  Then throwing a huge graduation party, which will also be a birthday party for both girls, and, I guess, a farewell party.

After that's cleaned up, we need to get serious about being ready for the movers. What goes into storage?  What gets shipped across the oceans in a container? What goes by air?  And what to pack in all those suitcases?? (we own 12.)

Sometime before June 26, we need to see friends one more time.  We need to see our families as much as possible.  We'll celebrate our 16th anniversary. Have to see this movie and go to that restaurant. Go shopping for stuff we can't get in Madagascar. And I suppose we'll need to eat, sleep and shower too.

Finally, a flight to Paris. A welcome overnight stay at the airport Hilton.  A flight to Madagascar. Adjust to the time change. The culture shock. Meet new people. Meet our new dog!  Figure things out.

Wow, that'll be a fun ride.  Maybe afterwards we can get popcorn and cotton candy and laugh at the people on the Tilt-a-Whirl.

I Belong

 to an amazing group of women.

Our husbands are diplomats, special agents, and soldiers.  Their careers have changed our lives forever. We will never be the same.

We have learned to pick up and move to places we have never heard of.

We left behind jobs, families, and everything familiar to follow the men we love. 

With each move, we learn a new language, and we relearn how to shop, cook, drive....and how to make friends.

Our children are known as Third Culture Kids, which means they are native to one country, but have lived in so many that they have a unique perspective on culture and are sometimes not sure who they are.

Our children are more amazing than us.

We have learned not to be attached to things, only people. 

We try new foods, new hair salons, new doctors....sometimes all in one day. 

We are educated. And classy. And we dress well.  We are very much aware that we represent America as much as any diplomat. 

We know what's going on in the world. 

Our spouses are regularly working Somewhere doing Something that they cannot talk about and we cannot think about. So we don't. 

Often we are separated from our husbands for days. Weeks. Months. 

We have to put on our big girl panties so often that we own several pairs. 

We are Foreign Service wives. 

And we are amazing!

67 Days

Just 67 days, and our family will be together again. 

Aaron will be home, and the next time he leaves for Madagascar, we'll all go with him.

I know better than to say we will never have to be apart again.  But I've had enough of it for now. 

In case you have trouble keeping up with our bad decisions current living situation, here's a synopsis:
You will recall that we spent two years in the west African country of Mauritania.  Within 24 hours of landing there, I was demanding to be sent home.  I hated it. I cried. A lot.  Then I met dozens of great people: other Americans, other expats, and the locals.  I started a great job at the embassy.  I figured things out.  I found things to like about it.  Eventually, I loved our life there. And then it was all tearful goodbyes and one last, longing look at the beach. 

Aaron's next assignment was Antananarivo (Madagascar; we call it Tana for short), and I was all about it.  Couldn't wait.  But our older kids, especially Nick, were NOT happy.  They wanted a normal life back in the US, near family and their old friends, where there are things to do, sports to play, and stores you want to shop at.   I can't say I blamed them; I missed all of that too.  The thought of starting over again in another African country and another school was just too much.

Our plan was to let Nick stay with his grandparents, and finish out junior high at his old school.  The rest of us would go to Tana, and we could visit.  He could visit.  It would be fine.  Looking back, I'm not sure how we EVER thought that was a good plan, because our family unit is pretty tight. We don't do well apart from each other. 

In the end, and totally last minute, we made the heart-wrenching decision for the kids and I to stay here, and for Aaron to "scout out" Tana for a year.  And then....we'd see.

The minute Aaron left for the airport back in August, I knew I'd made a huge mistake.  But it was done.  You make your decisions and live with them.

I found a house to rent, got the kids into Lansing Christian School (they were wonderfully understanding and welcoming, as usual), joined a church and settled back into American life.  Then the overwhelming reverse culture shock took effect. The fact that Aaron was not around made it even worse. I kept a positive attitude (usually) for the kids and went on, but it was tough.

By Christmas, we admitted our mistake, and decided we'd ALL move back to Africa with Aaron this summer.  He's got the house ready, and has a network of friends, and already knows where to find stuff.  He even found a church for us there, and found me a new dog to adopt.  There are plenty of kids at the American school, and it has a good reputation.

I hate that he missed this year with the kids.  It's been fun, it really has: school programs, sports, lots of time with our families.  I certainly don't regret being here and the kids have loved it.  But June 3 can't come soon enough!

Single parents, from all walks of life:  I tip my hat to you.  Single parenting is challenging on a good day, and is exhausting and frustrating most days.
Military and Unaccompanied Tour spouses: I salute you. You do the single parent thing while sending your spouse to a truly dangerous place. (Yeah, mine is on a tropical island).
Family and friends here and abroad: you have been amazingly supportive and not made me feel like I'm nuts. Thanks for that.
DS spouses: you are my rock. I love that you have been there, done that, and you get it. My next blog post will be about YOU. (don't worry, no names)

Grilled Fish with a Side of Sand

I had not been to the beach in almost a month. So I was eager to get into my swimsuit, tee shirt, sarong and flip flops and get out there.

We decided to go to a different beach today. This beach has umbrellas, tents, lounge chairs and a restaurant, so it's a little more populated. My iPod and I went for a long walk while Aaron and the kids tested the waves (warmer now, but too wild) and dug into the sand. Without their usual group of friends, the kids got bored and started asking for food.

We'd heard good things about the restaurant, and thought we'd give it a try for dinner. It's essentially a shack, made up of clapboard and straw walls and a tin roof. You eat in a somewhat enclosed area, but your feet are still in the sand and the wind off the ocean is relentless. The little tables are covered with worn vinyl cloths, stapled on or else they'd fly away. The chairs look like they were part of someone's patio set, circa 1979, with rusting metal and sad, sagging cushions. I did not get a look into the kitchen, and I'm not sure I ever want to. Some things are best unknown.

The menu was promising - until we found out that they were out of beef, lamb, chicken, and most fish choices. We ordered three fish dinners - one dourad and two capitane, and as Aaron said, "We'll just see what we get. " We got the dourad; not sure what the other two fish were. Still, I can't complain. For about $8, you get a huge plate with grilled fish, rice, lots of vegetables and French fries. And a little sand. It can't be avoided.

Alex's face lit up when the server gave him his plate; the fish were whole - head, tail and all. He fell out of his chair laughing. "He still has a head!" he shrieked. Then he proceeded to have a conversation with the fish, picking it up and moving the mouth. "Now I am going to eat you!" he said with an evil laugh, and dug in. He picked up his fork and knife and went to town on the fish tail before Aaron stopped him. "Let's start with the middle, ok? That's where the meat is."

I know plenty of kids who would turn up their noses at a fish staring at them from their plate, but not our little boy. It was a proud moment.

Ramblings and Recipes

Time moves more slowly for me than it does for others. I overhear someone say "my weekend was so short," or "I can't believe it's already July!" and I just can't relate. To me, things that happened last week seem like months ago, and something that happened a year ago is ancient history.

But this year, from July 2010 to July 2011, was different. It was like life in fast-forward. It was really challenging, and crazy busy, and I'm glad I took lots of pictures because I sure don't remember the details. I feel like I've changed a lot too, becoming more confident, relaxed and happy.

On July 27 it will be one year since we stepped off the plane in this hot, dusty, godforsaken country. I didn't like it then and I don't really like it now, but it's amazing what you can get used to. I would not choose to live here, would not return for a nostalgic drive around town, would not recommend it to anyone for any reason.

And yet....as I have said before, we have a good life here. I especially like the people, and the slower pace. Life is what you make it, and I figure if I can find a way to be happy here, I can be happy anywhere.

A week ago, I returned from the U.S. I went with my two older kids, to drop them off at Camp Grandma & Grandpa. It was tough, leaving them there, but I know they will spend their summer riding bikes and running around with friends at dusk, playing sports, going to movies. They will be in church on Sundays, and have piano lesssons, make their baby cousins laugh, and eat drippy ice cream cones. Summer, the way it should be.

I thoroughly enjoyed my 2 weeks home. I got to see almost all my family & friends. I shopped, and shopped, and then went shopping (this is what happens when you have not been in any American stores for a year). According to my scale, I visited a few too many good restaurants as well.

There were a few things that hit me, after being away so long:

• Everything in the US is huge. Fields, trees, roads, vehicles, houses, stores, meals, food packages - everything.
• Americans do a lot of driving, since places are much farther apart (and there are actually places to go). And there are road rules - which they actually follow!
• It was hard to readjust to a time-obsessed culture, after living in a polychronic society for a year
• We are incredibly wealthy and have so much, including our jobs and our freedom
• I have fabulous friends, who I can pick up with as if no time had passed. They are still their wonderful selves, and they understand that I am still me, but that I'm different because of what I've been through
• Nothing is more important than faith and family

So I am back in the swing of things here. Back to work, and also my slightly smaller family! We're really looking forward to our trip to Senegal next week. Things at work have slowed down, and between that, the pool, the beach and a less-intense schedule, I think this will be a great summer.

And now....a little lane-change......

Recently I have enjoyed two sweet treats; I'd like to share the recipes for Blah Blah Brownies and Faux-Fried Ice Cream!

My Ladies Who Lunch group likes to get together at Blah Blah Thè (Tea), a cafè run by a French woman here in Nouakchott. A few weeks ago, we gathered there to say goodbye to our dear friend Katie, and the owner made us a special cake. Well, it was supposed to be cake, but the chef sort of screwed it up, and it came out more like fudge brownies. I got the recipe, and people, these brownies are amazing.

300 grams (@ 10 ounces) dark chocolate*

1 stick unsalted butter

1 cup sugar

4 eggs, slightly beaten

Melt the chocolate and butter together. Stir in the sugar and eggs. Pour into baking dish and bake at 425 degrees for 25 minutes.

*Nouakchott friends: I used Lindt Chocolat Noir Intense 70% Cacao bars

Tonight for dinner, I made chicken enchiladas with a green chile chipotle sauce, rice, and refried beans with pepperjack cheese. The enchiladas were delicious but pretty spicey, so to cool things off, I came up with Faux-Fried Ice cream for dessert:

4 T butter

4 T honey

2 cups Cinnamon Toast Crunch cereal, crushed

4 servings frozen-solid vanilla ice cream (think back-of-the-deep-freezer frozen)

Melt the butter and honey together in a skillet. Add the cereal and stir well. Cook, stirring occasionally, for 5-10 minutes. Scoop out ice cream and top with the cereal mixture, spreading it over the surface of the ice cream. Enjoy!

Fun Days in May

International Day at AISN

For international day, the kids got to dress in the costumes of their native country, or in their country's colors. They got to try different crafts and activities, and they put on a little program for the parents, followed by a potluck lunch of foods from all over the world.

My kids went for red, white & blue, plus their DC hats and flag pins.

Here is Alex waiting with his class for the program to start.

Can you find Alex in this picture? : )

The preschoolers sang a song about where they were from. Each kid had a turn to sing.

Alex's friends Shims (Mauritania), Chloe (France)

and Ben (USA) and their teacher, Ms. Amel (Algeria) and

assistant Haboussa (Mauritania)

Alex enjoyed being on stage and singing his part!

Cute little Sun is from Iraq

The Mauritanian contingent awaiting their turn

Ziyad is from Morocco - he is always laughing about something

The American kids all came up and said "Hello" except Alex, he said - "Hey!"

Alex, Nick and Natalie (not pictured: Olivia)

The Spelling Bee

The TLC school hosted a spelling bee and invited AISN too. It was the first bee Aaron and I had ever been to and Olivia was the first one of our kids to participate in a bee. It was a well organized and fun competition. The did 3 groups in the morning: kindergarten, 1st and 2nd grade, then 3rd-5th in the afternoon.

Olivia with her classmates Diane and Anna

Ettou, Diane, Anna, Olivia and Kira

Olivia waits nervously to be called

She was bumped out of the running early on, but it was a

great learning experience she is eager to do again next year.

I love all the emotions going on in this picture: Olivia is clearly bummed out, Kira (smiling) was the 2nd-grade champ, and poor Nic (on the end) burst into tears shortly after this. The drama!

Each participant got a ribbon





Vietnamese Cooking Class

Jeanne (below) is a friend of ours here and she offered to do a demonstration of Vietnamese cooking. I hosted it in my kitchen, since it's very large compared to most homes here. Jeanne made 4 things: monk fish in caramel sauce, spring rolls with chicken, spring rolls with shrimp, and a vegetable-beef-noodle stirfry. She also made some yummy dips to go with the spring rolls. I provided a large pot of rice and for dessert, mango sorbet. With the exception of hoisin sauce, all the ingredients can be found locally. The ladies really enjoyed it and took lots of notes. Then we got to eat it all!

Fresh spring rolls with shrimp

Tiffany (USA), Alida (Burundi), Katrina (USA), Amanda (USA), Oydin (Uzbekistan), and Norie (Japan). Jeanne is Chinese & Vietnamese. It's a Small World After All......

Oumou (Mauritania) practices wrapping the delicate rice paper

The stir fry....simple and delicious

That night our family got to enjoy the leftovers,

with a few of our own additions. Bon Apetit!